Dating several people
Around the eighth month of my online dating experience, I gave up on my “sincere” method of meeting girls and intentionally tried to meet as many girls as possible at once.For the first few weeks, things were similar to my old method and I didn’t see immediate improvements but over time my dating life changed .On one occasion when things were going very poorly, instead of stressing out, I told my date I didn’t think we were a great match but that we could still have fun over dinner.
First date failure, whether because she wasn’t what I was looking for or the reverse, was very difficult.
This freedom allowed me to finally be honest with myself about what I was looking for.
I stopped defending the poor qualities my dates had and started moving on.
Using my original method for dating (one girl a month at best), my odds of meeting that special someone were very low and theoretically it would have taken a long time to meet her. The issue here is the length of time only identifies part of the problem as it assumes that the “match” won’t move on to something else: a new job that she wouldn’t have been taken had she been in a relationship, settling for someone just to not be alone, etc.
Taking too long doesn’t just mean you’re looking longer. I believe that dating many people improves your chances in two ways: you have a better chance of meeting someone who you are looking for but you also potentially avoid missing out on someone who may move on if you never get around to meeting in the first place.